Too many of us family lawyers believe that obtaining great outcomes in our cases is enough to keep clients happy.
We are wrong . . . and missing a critical blind spot.
Yes. Legal expertise is essential.
But, there’s a mind-bending truth about what clients truly value.
It most directly impacts referrals and client satisfaction.
What lawyers think clients want
If you ask most lawyers, you’ll get a perfectly logical, academically sound response.
They’ll say clients want to be divorced, get a good property division, have good custody and placement arrangements, and get fair support and maintenance orders.
These answers aren’t wrong. But they aren’t right, either.
What clients really want (but can’t say)
Now, let’s ask the clients.
This is where it gets tricky because clients usually can’t articulate what they really want.
Over thousands of initial consults, we’ve asked, “When this divorce is over, what does success look like to you?”
Clients most often respond with similar answers to the attorneys. They’ll say: “Stay in the house,” “have custody of the kids,” “maintain my lifestyle,” or “have support to get back in the workforce.”
But . . . what they’re actually willing to pay premium rates for is different.
Way down in the left ventricle of their heart, they really want:
- The divorce to be over quickly
- Responsive and patient communication
- An empathetic lawyer
Soft skills beat good legal outcomes like a drum
I learned this lesson from an unlikely teacher early in my practice.
This local attorney was, by outward standards, a complete mess.
His office was a disaster, with client files and old food containers piled everywhere. He dressed like a bum—untucked shirt, no tie, and nasty old salt-caked loafers without socks.
He often wasn’t prepared, didn’t negotiate hard, and shied away from trying cases.
But he had endless referrals, rarely spent a dime on advertising, and had clients feeding out of his hand.
Why? Because he understood something I didn’t.
On average, the range in legal outcomes between divorce attorneys isn’t significant.
But the range in emotional satisfaction is expansively wide.
This veteran attorney was undefeated in the hearts and minds of his clients and all the people they referred back to him.
He knew exactly how to give them what they wanted–even while reaching minimal standards in legal outcomes.
Give clients what they want without running yourself ragged
Meeting emotional needs at scale requires simple, executable systems.
In our firm of 25+ attorneys, we focus on two things that are (mostly) within our control:
- Be proactive to get the case over with as quickly as we can. This means we push the case pace all the time.
- Prioritize client communication. We focus on some sort of response within a day. We allow unlimited communication as a part of our fixed fee. Clients love that.
There are unlimited ways to meet the emotional needs of clients. We found the most success focusing on these two.
