The Family Law Advice to Rule Them All

Confession – 🙏 – I’m a very late convert to client service as priority #1.

For most of my law-firm-building career, I’ve been laser-focused on one thing—marketing.

I love marketing. I love the metrics, the chase, and the thrill of building momentum.

In retrospect, my marketing focus was essential in getting our firm off the ground.

But I’ve learned an important lesson in building Sterling Lawyers – marketing might start the engine, but client service is what keeps the machine running—and thriving.

Why I Now See the Light

Over the past 12 months, our firm has made a seismic shift.

We’ve moved from being a marketing-centric firm to one built around cherishing client service. 

It started about 18 months ago as we put more emphasis behind our client service. We began talking about it more in team meetings. We celebrated client service scores and minimized collections as the main focus.

I slowly began to see our performance metrics improve month over month as we refined our approach to client service. The client service focus was paying off.

Our marketing costs went down. Client retention went up. 

Client complaints went down. Referrals started to tick up. 

Bottom line improved!

But, those performance numbers only tell part of the story.

Our culture and legal team’s overall happiness at work improved. The practice of family law can be very hard. So, anything that offsets compassion fatigue is a big, big win.

When your clients are happy, your team feels that energy, too. Work became more fun.

The Fundamentals of Great Client Service

After seeing our firm serve well over 15,000 clients in the past 10 years, there are two things that really matter above everything else.

These are the client service absolutes. If you do these, you win almost every time in family law.

Communication → 80% of Excellent Client Service

Communication is completely within the lawyer’s control. This is great news!

We have zero control over the judge. We have no way to make the GAL or social worker do what we demand.

We are powerless in so many aspects of family law.

However, when it comes to the one thing that matters most to clients, we own it.

Clients want to know what’s happening before, during, and after every event of their case.

They want to know you care about them by communicating with them. A good lawyer communicator is:

• Proactive: Tell them what’s coming next, explain court procedures, and prepare them for every step. They hate surprises.
• Responsive: Answer their calls, emails, or texts promptly, even if it’s just to say, “I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”
• Transparent: Share bad news early and directly. Clients may not like it, but they’ll respect your honesty.
• Overly communicative: No client has ever complained about being too informed. If you’re repeating yourself, you’re doing it right.

A quick tip: Never, ever make the client feel like they’re “just another case.” Avoid phrases like, “I’ve been too busy” or “I have a lot of clients.” 

Instead, try to make them feel like they are your only client in the whole wide world and that you have their case details tattooed on your forearm for easy reference.

Proactive Case Speed → 16% of Excellent Client Service

Your client probably likes you. (Who wouldn’t?!)

But, candidly, we both know your client does not want you in their life. 

They desperately don’t want to linger in the court system or dwell in the stress of unresolved family legal issues. 

Clients deeply value being “done.” So, getting them to “done” as quickly as possible is great client service.

Proactive case management looks like the ball never being in your court. If the other attorney moves like a sloth, make sure your client knows this and that you are doing all you can to help them move on to life after family court.

You have to push the pace.

I recognize that this is very hard to do consistently. There are many stakeholders. But, it can be done. 

We do it across two states, dozens of counties, 50+ judges, hundreds of GALs and opposing lawyers. Our cases consistently get done 20 to 30% faster than our peer group. (We have studied this numerous times.)

So, communicate well and move the client’s case along and you will crush 96% of client service. It really is that simple.

The Anti-Fundamentals of Client Service

I am not sure “anti-fundamentals” is an appropriate word. But, I like the symmetry. So, let’s go.

Here’s a partial list of “good” client service imposters that often confuse family lawyers who think they are delivering great client service: 

• Gold-plating the Client Experience: Over-investing in surface-level perks can feel like you are making progress, but often cause more harm than good. Fancy coffee served in China with gourmet scones is nice, but they’re not what clients value most. 
• 24/7 Availability: In an effort to serve the clients well, I have seen lawyers open their lives to clients by responding to texts and emails at all hours of the night and on weekends. This doesn’t equate to great service. Boundaries are crucial, especially for needy clients. 
• Winning the Case: A victory in court means little if the client feels dismissed, condescended to, or ignored along the way. They care more about how you helped them feel than winning a point with the judge. 
• Brilliant Legal Analysis that Dominates the Other Side: See previous point. We lawyers love this stuff. It’s fun to tell our family bar colleagues how we kicked the butt of that snarky attorney that no one likes. But clients don’t value that very highly.

What About the Other 4% of Client Service?

I don’t know what is in the other 4%.

I figure it’s only 4%. So, it doesn’t practically matter.

If we communicate well and get the case concluded in a speedy way, we win with clients. 

Then, all kinds of wonderful things come our way! That’s what has happened with our firm now that I got my marketing biases out of the way of the team. 

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