In family law, we succeed or fail based on our client relationships. They are our lifeblood.
And every one of our clients are people with a standard human operating system that can be optimized.
If used authentically, these hacks below can deepen your client connections and build trust faster.
1. Show Genuine Excitement
When you see clients, greet them with a genuine smile.
Not a plastic one, but a real smile expressing that you’re excited to see them.
This energy is contagious, and it communicates that you care about them and they’re important to you.
Sharing your energy and enthusiasm through a warm smile and excited body language can take relationships to whole new levels.
I can authentically say that my smile is my most effective tool for connecting with others. I have intentionally used it since I was 16.
2. Use Names Strategically
Say your client’s name out loud one to two times in the first five minutes of meeting them.
This shows that you care enough about them to remember their name.
Even if someone suspects what you are doing, they don’t care because we all love to hear our name.
For prospective clients you don’t know, this technique also helps you remember their names and avoid embarrassing moments later.
3. Dress for Emotional Impact
Colors have their own language and can evoke specific emotions:
- Blue elicits depth, stability, and trust
- Yellow projects warmth and friendship
- Black conveys sophistication, strength, and confidence
- Red evokes passion, energy, and excitement
Being mindful of these colors enables you to get that extra edge in whatever setting you’re in.
4. Share Your Vulnerabilities
When we meet someone who seems perfect, it can be intimidating.
By having the self-awareness and courage to expose your flaws and be open about vulnerabilities, you deepen trust more quickly and become more relatable.
However, this must be authentic. People can sense when self-deprecation isn’t sincere.
5. Use Strategic Silence
Use pauses and silent moments in conversations strategically.
When there’s a pause, and you wait, ponder, and look directly at the person you’re communicating with, it shows confidence and conveys that what they’ve said is important to you.
Stay present during these moments. Others can sense when you’ve wandered away mentally. (My wife is a savant with me on this!)
6. Build Inner Confidence
Confidence is contagious.
Before important meetings, imagine yourself smiling, leaning in, and speaking with authority.
When you project this confidence, your audience picks up on it and often mirrors your body language, creating a positive feedback loop.
Everyone wants confidence. And you can’t give it to them if you don’t have it yourself.
7. Ask for Small Favors
Known as the Benjamin Franklin effect, asking for small favors can help win clients over.
When someone does something for you, it triggers a sense of investment in the relationship and reciprocity.
Use this technique wisely and sparingly. It can be overdone or misused.
8. Share Food During Key Meetings
Serving food during meetings, even just small finger foods, builds a sense of community and connection.
Breaking bread together can help lessen tension, especially during heated negotiations.
The physical proximity while sharing food often makes people more accommodating and collaborative.
9. Mind Your Handshake
Physical warmth correlates with emotional warmth and connection.
Before shaking hands, ensure your hands are warm and dry. This small detail can make a significant difference in the initial impression you make.
When I was younger, I struggled with sweaty, clammy hands. I was constantly drying them off and warming them up so that my handshake didn’t work against me.
These techniques are tools that give us the ability to deepen our practice and grow our relationships.
Building trust more quickly ultimately leads to a more successful practice and more rewarding relationships.
After all, relationships define us in life.
